One month has passed since the New Year started and many people have already gotten off track from the goals they set for the year. It's hard to change old habits and let go of our comfort zone especially if you've lost the motivation to make changes.
Here are three tips for staying motivated to reach your goals: 1. Adjust as you go- Sometimes you have to change your approach to reaching your goal. If what you've been doing is no longer working tweak the process. Change your exercise times, use a new social media tool, break the goal down into smaller goals, change the completion date, etc. Think outside the box and find ways to stay excited about reaching the goal. 2. Find an accountability partner- Find someone to hold you accountable. Someone who will hold your feet to fire and make sure you do what you say you're going to do. You can do the same for them. When someone is counting on you to make something happen you try harder because you don't want to let them down and you end up not letting yourself down either. 3. Reward yourself- When you complete a task or hit a milestone, reward yourself. Plan a larger reward or celebration for the completion of the goal but celebrate with small goodies along the way. A cupcake, a pedicure, a new tablet case, etc. Don't wait until the goal is met. Celebrate along the way to give you incentive to keep going.
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At the end of 2015, I decided that I was going to embark on a journey of self care for 2016.
As wives, mothers and sister-friends, we usually put the needs and feelings of others before our own and in the end we're tired, frustrated and unfulfilled. Our health, marriages, friendships and jobs often end up casualties. I'm on a mission to start making myself a priority. I'm kick starting a month of self love in February. (I'm hoping this becomes a forever lifestyle change.) Everyday in February I will do something special for myself. I will celebrate my victories and stop the negative self talk that tells me I don't "deserve" something. I am worthy of love, care and praise- especially from myself! I've started journaling, mediating and yoga to help me become more present, which I think is the ultimate gift I can give myself. I will document my journey on social media and my blog hopefully inspiring others to do the same. Stay tuned! At the beginning of the year I started meditating and journaling. I've journaled every day but only meditated every other day, which I still consider an achievement. I started doing both these practices to try and be more engaged in the moment. To be present and aware. It's definitely a process but I am seeing some incremental changes. I realize when I'm distracted and take a few deep breaths before redirecting my focus on the task at hand. I've also been putting my phone away at night (number one source of distractions). When I lay down in my bed to go to sleep, I would use that time to scroll through social media. Then I would have a hard time actually getting to sleep because of the sensory overload. Now, when I crawl under the covers I put the phone face down on my nightstand and turn away from it. The process of meditation is also helping me be more creative and productive as well. It's only been 18 days but I've made some noticeable progress. The hardest part for me is making the time to actually meditate but I notice if I do it at the same time everyday it becomes more habitual. I would definitely recommend that everyone practice some form of meditation or conscience awareness to help eliminate stress and distractions. Here are some tips for getting started: 1. Find a tool to guide you- Guided meditation is probably best for newbies because you have someone talking you through the process and timing you as you go. There are a ton of apps for this or websites. I use the Stop, Breath & Think app. They provide a list of meditations such as Mindful Breathing, Be Present, Gratitude, Change, Falling Asleep and much more! You can meditate for as little as 3 minutes or up to 20 minutes. 2. Find a quiet space free of distractions- Turn off the TV and turn on the "do not disturb" feature on your phone so that you aren't getting calls or notifications. If you have kids or pets at home, go into another room or wait until they are napping. For meditation to be effective you need that uninterrupted time. You want to be able to quiet your mind and focus only on your breathing. 3. Find a comfortable position- You typically see images of people meditating in the "lotus" pose (crossed legs and wrists resting on elbows) but you do not have to meditate in this position. Just get comfortable and make sure you are in a position, preferably sitting, that is comfortable. You will have to release the tension from your arms, shoulders, legs etc. So you want to make sure you are not cramped or at an awkward angle that might keep you from focusing. The point of meditation is to get you to focus on you breathing and to slow your hear rate, which will help relieve anxiousness and stress. The hardest part of meditation is keeping your mind from wandering while trying to be present. BONUS TIP: Focus on an image in your mind of the ocean, or the sky or floating in a swimming pool. These calming images should help you find your center and keep you focused.
I'm a big fan of Shonda Rhimes TV show, How To Get Away With Murder (HTGAWM). Because well, Viola Davis. I haven't ever watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy and maybe only a handful of Scandal episode but HTGAWM is my show! Again, because Viola Davis. And because the writing is crazy, amazing, original and keeps me guessing whodunnit?
I had seen a ton of posts about Shonda Rhimes' book, Year of Yes and so, like I often do when I see a book recommendation, I googled it. I was immediately intrigued. . . .then I started to put two and two together. She created my favorite show. She writes on my favorite show. This means her book has to have some redeeming qualities, right? So I purchased it and once I started reading. . .it exceeded my expectations! I totally related to her stories of escaping through fictional characters and writing at an early age. I could even relate to the social anxiety she experienced. People probably would never guess it but I get extremely nervous before attending even a kids birthday party. Maybe I'll expound in a future post....but back to the book. It was great! Full of funny anecdotes and inspiration. Shonda's candor/transparency was refreshing and did I mention she was funny? The basic premise of the book is that instead of saying no to every invitation or request (which was often her reply) she started saying, "Yes." No matter how much it terrified her. It led her to some eye opening revelations about herself and as a result she became wiser, happier and healthier. My biggest take away from the book was not so much the aspect of being fearless but instead the importance of saying, "YES!" to ourselves. Yes to being our best, yes to living life to the fullest, yes to new experiences, yes to growth and yes to love- self love! My focus for 2016 (and beyond) is to say yes to taking better care of my mind, body and soul. What are you saying yes to in 2016? It's a new year and I have not one but TWO new books to add to your reading list! My new novel, Nothing I Can Say is now available: Kevin and Sydney Grant have been married for seven years. The former high school sweethearts have what most would consider an ideal marriage until Sydney discovers Kevin has kept a secret from her. A secret that starts to unravel their marriage and uncover lies from the past. They attend marriage counseling to salvage their relationship but Kevin soon learns Sydney has secrets of her own. Will he be able to forgive her? Or will their lies end up destroying what’s left of their marriage? Click HERE to read and excerpt and purchase your copy!! My other book is a exclusively for subscribers only! Life's Little Survival Guide contains 15 Tips for navigating through this thing we call life! Inspirational and entertaining tidbits just in time to kick off the new year! Click the subscribe button below and a copy will be sent to you after you confirm your email! |
Writer. Reader. Designer. Creative Spirit.
“I would advise anyone who aspires to a writing career that before developing his talent he would be wise to develop a thick hide.”
—Harper Lee Book Recommendations
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