Most aspiring authors that I meet either tell me they don't have enough time or they don't know where to start. My post last week addressed time and next week I'll address getting started. But this post addresses another common remark that I hear, "I'm scared."

Scared that no one will like it, no one will read it, or it won't make sense. I felt that exact same way before I made the decision to share my work. If I'm being honest, sometimes I still feel that way. But one thing I've learned is that once you put it out there, your audience will come (provided they know it exists, lol! But more on that next week!) For now let's focus on overcoming these self imposed barriers:

1.  Fear- Fear is a very strong emotion because you're going up against the unknown. You're putting yourself out there without control over the outcome. But fear will also keep you paralyzed and you'll look around and five, ten or twenty years will pass and you will still be saying, "I always wanted to write a book." So my suggestion is to go for it. Get those ideas, words, phrases and thoughts out of your head and go for it! One thing that I did was to start writing on platforms like Wattpad under a pseudonym, that way no one knew it was me. I got such an amazing response from strangers who had connected with my writing, it gave me the courage to share it under my real name with people I actually knew and it's been an incredible experience. 

2.  Procrastination- Writing is an escape. Writing is cathartic. Writing is fun. But writing can also be hard work. Sometimes the task of writing can be daunting and because you don't know where to start or how to finish or what to say, you put it off and you don't write at all. You start making excuses or you stop making writing a priority. Meanwhile time is passing and that book isn't getting written. YOU HAVE TO MAKE WRITING A PRIORITY. YOU HAVE TO WRITE EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD. Dedication and self motivation are the only way you will have a shot at that New York Times Bestseller list. To avoid developing a pattern of procrastination, set a daily goal of writing for a minimum of fifteen minutes or set a goal of writing 700-1000 words a day and maybe it won't feel like such a chore.

3.  Knowledge- This is one of the biggest issues writers face. When I say knowledge, I'm referring to basic grammar knowledge. Grammar is a learned skill. And it's not easy to remember all the rules regarding sentence structure, voice and tense to name a few. However if you are going to be a writer- you MUST have knowledge of basic grammar. Knowing when to use there, their or they're is a simple thing that can destroy your writing if you do not know how/when to use the proper homophone. Even if you use an editor (which you definitely should), I still recommend buying a reference book or at least turning to Google when you are unsure. 

What are some barriers you face when trying to write?

“You think you’ll ever get married?” I asked while we were working in his home office.

He turned around in his chair and stared at me. His expression was blank but his eyes expressed shock and a little fear.
​
“Um, that was out of left field.” He laughed nervously.

“I’m working on an article. I had a conversation with a few female entrepreneurs and many of them are wondering if when they are ready- if they are ever ready- for marriage and children if they will find someone. Given that they’ve achieved some level of success. You know will they be able to find someone in their lane or someone who’s not intimidated by their success.”

“Okay?” he asked still seemingly confused.

"I’m wondering is this just something females are worried about or do men wonder about the future as well? Do you see yourself married with children? And if so, are you looking for a particular female to fill that position? Like does she have to be as successful as you or would you prefer someone who isn’t as ambitious?”

“So are you interviewing me?” he smiled.

I shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Is this just for the article?” he asked softly.

I shrugged again. “Maybe.”

He rolled his chair next to me and sighed. He was quiet for a minute and I was actually afraid of his answer.

“To be honest with you, I never thought about getting married because I never figured it was an option. You know I didn’t grow up with my parents and none of my friends had parents that were married so that wasn’t something I ever even thought of.”  He paused and shook his head. “And the kind of girls I used to date. . .” he laughed darkly. “I sure as hell would never wife any of them. So my plan was to just keep trying to build a business, stay out of trouble and just enjoy my life.”

He leaned closer to me and bumped my shoulder.

“And then I met you and for the first time in my life I wanted more.”

I smiled at him. “More what?” I asked wanting him to elaborate.

“More from life. You inspire me. I wanted my business to bigger and better, I wanted to live intentionally and help my community and for the first time- it wasn’t just about sex- I wanted to be with you just to kick it or talk or just sit down and stare up at the sky.” He laughed.

“You sound so whipped.” I teased.

He kissed my lips. “You know I am.”

I kissed him back. “I know. But uh- you still haven’t answered the question.”

He rolled back to his side of the room.

“I’ve thought about it. A woman who has her own thing would be cool and I’d support her in any way that I could as long as I had her support and attention as well. And it would be really cool to one day teach my son or daughter what I know and pass my company to them. I think one of the main issues in our community is the lack of legacy building.”

My heart swelled at his words.

He started typing on his computer before he asked over his shoulder. “What about you? Have you thought about it?”

“I’m not the one being interviewed.” I laughed nervously.

“I’m interviewing you.” He said.

“I don’t know- like you said- I didn’t have an example of what marriage looked like either and over the years I’ve dated some men whose last names I definitely wouldn’t want attached to mine. But I have also been thinking differently since we’ve met.” I said softly.

He turned to look at me.

“I’m just afraid- I’ve heard so many horror stories about expectations and people changing after marriage. I couldn’t be with someone who is going to stifle me and what if you got bored with having sex with one woman for the rest of your life and went out and cheated and-,”

“Whoa- so this is no longer hypothetical?”

“What do you mean?” I frowned.

“You said what if you-,” he said pointing at himself.

“I didn’t mean you- it's hypothetical this entire conversation is hypothetical Michael.” I sighed and went back to work.

He rolled his chair next to me again but this time he turned me around to face him.

“Well let’s get specific for a minute. First of all, I would never cheat on you. And second let’s drop the bullshit. Do you want to get married one day?”

I shrugged. “I want a family. I want stability. I want love. Everything I never had growing up.” I started tearfully.

“I want that too.” He assured me. “Is that something you can see yourself having with me?” he asked.

I shrugged playfully. “I guess you’ll do.” I laughed.

“Okay, you got jokes.” He laughed.

“I’d consider myself extremely lucky to have that with you.” I said sincerely.

“I feel the same. I mean I know it’s only been a year and a half but I’m not going anywhere, I’m here unless you send me away. So let’s just keep learning and growing together and know that we’re on the same page. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He kissed me again and turned away before quickly turning back to me.

“Wait- how many kids?”

“No more than two.”

“Good. I thought you’d want a bunch of kids since you were an only child. I draw the line at three.” 

If you're in the Houston/Katy area on Saturday, February 20th. Stop by the Cellar Door to support local authors and get some great books!

People always seem really impressed when they find out I wrote a book. Then they almost immediately say, "I've always wanted to write a book," I don't know if they truly are passionate about writing or if they are thinking- if she did it I can do it. . .Lol! But whatever the case, writing is not as easy as it looks!  

To write a book, you must have passion and discipline. It is a time consuming and often solitary task. And even after you think you're done, you're not. You will have to edit your "final" draft at least five or six times or more and then comes the task of getting people to buy and read your work. So yes, it looks easy and fun and even maybe a touch glamorous but nothing could be farther from the truth. Writing is work and even for those of us who love it, it can be a chore. 

If I had to give tips to newbie writers before they started on their writing journey, it would be the following: