Blog Archives

Take a Listen

3/28/2016

Take a listen as I read Chapter 12 from my book, Nothing I Can Say. This chapter is told from Sydney Grant's point of view. Purchase Now!

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THE ONLY THING HARDER THAN LETTING GO IS
MOVING ON. . . .

Letting go and moving on often seem like cliched commentary. But holding on to the past (hurts, mistakes, drama, etc.) is a real issue for some of us and can stunt your growth and wreck havoc on your health.

If you or someone you know has a problem holding on to the past, here are three tips to help you move on:

1. Focus on the present- I know it's often easier said than done but you should focus on a particular issue, goal or person in your life right now that deserves your time & attention. Focus on nurturing that relationship or working on that issue and being fully present in the moment. Be so busy and committed that your mind has no time to wander & think about the past.

2. Burn the bridge- Whatever opening you are leaving to cross back over into the past remove it as an option. Delete the phone number, toss the T-shirt (stop sleeping in that old ratty t-shirt he left behind), change your email or whatever you need to do in order to permanently move on. Let the fire light the way on your new road.

3. Volunteer- When you help others two things happen, 1. you realize just how blessed you are and 2. it makes you feel good. Take the focus off yourself for a minute and watch how your perspective changes.

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Book Review: The Gifts of Imperfection

3/11/2016

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One of the books I read during my self-care month was The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. The book was published in 2010 and has been on my reading list but I just got around to reading it last month.

I hate I waited so long! But I guess we get the messages we need at the time we need them. This book was filled with so many gems and a-ha moments! The basic premise of this book can be summed up in the tag line, Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

Thank you and good night.

Brown (a shame researcher) explores how we spend so much time pretending our lives are perfect and seeking approval that we miss out on fully living in the moment. One of the in depth messages that I took away from the book was that we don’t automatically think we’re worthy of love and acceptance, so we work hard to receive this from outside sources and all the while we’re rejecting ourselves.

A very good book that even weeks later still resonates with me. One of my favorite quotes from the book: “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”
I mean when you stop and think about that, I mean really think about it- it’s pretty profound. Because we live in a world of goals and to-do lists and achievements and grinding and hustling and it’s all about reaching that next level to get more, more, more. . .and when we fall short -we feel like failures.

But when you acknowledge just how amazing life is even in the midst of failure. . .you can see, hear, walk, talk. . .you’re in a position to even be able to TRY and pursue your passions. But too often instead of embracing what we have, we’re focused on what we want. And most of the time we want it for the wrong reasons. We want it because of how others will perceive us and we’ve convinced ourselves that somehow that is tied to our self-worth.

The number of followers, likes, friends, connections. . . .etc. It’s really bullshit at the end of the day. As Brown says in the book, “. . .it’s about the need to manage perception. We want to be able to control what other people think about us so that we can feel good enough.” Ouch. But thank you for that truth bomb!

As I've gotten older, I've learned what matters is real life connections and the impact you have on someone and the world around you. And how you still have that effect even long after you’re gone. I’m all about embracing my imperfections these days. They are a part of me, the real me. And I’m pretty damn awesome!

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3 Ways to Become An Expert

3/9/2016

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The Internet has deluded people into thinking they can do anything and everything. They think they can watch a few YouTube videos or dig around Pinterest and suddenly they are an “expert” in a particular area. Some people have even boldly tried to build careers around things they learned in one sitting.

Believe me it takes a lot more than following an online tutorial to be considered an expert in a particular field. I have a degree in Communication, I have been writing professionally for almost 20 years and I have been freelancing as a graphic designer for three years. However there are times when I still feel like a novice. Being an expert is not only about execution but also attitude.
Here are three tips to becoming an expert:

Pick a lane- Have you ever heard the phrase, “Jack of all trades, master of none.” If you truly want to become an expert at something you must master it. You must practice it, study it and live it. That’s kind of hard to do when you’re trying to juggle five or six different things. I am pretty sure there is no such thing as a master chef/mechanic/dentist/cosmetologist. Too often, people get in over their heads by getting greedy and cocky. Just because you like to cook doesn’t mean you should open a restaurant. Consider what area you really excel in and focus on bringing all you can to that area, so that you can share your expertise with others.
Remain a student- You are never too experienced that you can’t learn something new. People who are considered experts in their field are always up on the latest trends and regulations. Even doctors and lawyers are required to do continuing education to keep their licensure up to date. Attend a conference, read a book or talk to others in your field. Remain open to learning and continuing to master your craft.
Practice humble confidence- Expert does not mean perfect. It simply means that you have knowledge- perhaps considerable knowledge- in a particular field or area. For example, you may consider yourself an expert when it comes to hair but I guarantee you there is probably someone who thinks that they are better than you. It’s a relative term. But don’t get caught up in the comparison game. Just be confident in your abilities and more importantly make sure the people who are counting on you also feel confident that you know what you’re doing. You don’t have to brag or boast about your skills. Let your work and your portfolio speak for itself.

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Giveaway: Nothing I Can Say

3/7/2016

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I'm hosting another Goodreads giveaway for my book, Nothing I Can Say. You can enter to win an autographed copy of my book plus a FREE digital short story. Enter to win between March 7th through March 31st. Get details and sign up below: